In which I talk about school and ramble about everything that comes to mind.
School is going again.
And it's probably going to kill me.
I'm taking 17 credit hours and working 2 TA jobs, not to mention that independent study class that I still haven't finished Unit 1. So yeah. It kinda funny because I can clearly remember registering for freshman year and talking to Kristen and Micah while we were still at home and they were both all like: "Yeah I'm taking 17 credit hours. I think that's a pretty solid number. It should be good." Totally nonchalant because for people like them with 4.0 GPAs and 10 credit hours of AP classes it really was pretty much right up their alley. So there I was thinking that 17 was an average amount of credits to have. Then a month into it I was struggling to stay above water.
And now I'm a senior and I'm doing it again. And I'm doing it knowing what it was like the first time and yet somehow that didn't stop me. Wish me luck. I will need it.
Proceed at Own Risk
In other ponderations: Isn't great when you stay up late with a friend just talking about life and love and all the things that confuse you or make you angry; and even though you don't really come to any conclusions or solutions to the problems you talk about, it is still nice to get it off your chest? And it's nice to finally have another person on my list of friends that actually deserve my trust. That puts the list up to like 4 whole people that I can trust with the things I have to say. And also, friends are really great at making you not feel like a terrible person and help you justify why you do things.
I was texting one of my dear friends who is far away and telling her about something that I was worried about. I was just worried that I might not be treating a person fairly or at least kinda taking advantage of a situation. She gave me some pretty great words of wisdom that really made me feel better about the whole thing. I really did/do mean well but I was doubting myself and she had something really great to say. Luckily I don't tell the internet everything so you just get to know that it was very helpful.
Also it's really nice to have professors that care about your learning as their student.
So I'm taking this Italian literature class and I haven't had grammar class for a year, so needless to say I've been feeling a little lost during class discussion which takes place entirely in Italian. After class today I went up to the teacher and just asked if it was okay to meet with her sometime to go over some questions I had on the homework. The homework on it's own hasn't been too hard but combining the minor misunderstandings for that plus my complete loss in class I was just feeling a little overwhelmed. She was super nice and offered to talk to me about it right then because it was her office hour. So we went into the hall and I told her about some questions with the homework and explained that I've been feeling a little behind because honestly I am behind. And she was so stinking nice. Like I almost wanted to cry a bit because she was being so nice. She explained as best she could why I went wrong in the homework and she said that I could come ask her questions whenever I want and it is actually helpful to her because there are a couple of people in my same position so it helps her know what to focus on while she teaches. And she said that she was sure I would do fine but just to work really hard and I would catch up.
Encouragement like that just really boosts you up. For someone to just tell you that it's going to be okay and that you can do it really means a lot. And not the kind of blind and unhelpful encouragement that your parents or relatives give (because they only say it to make you feel better) but actually helpful encouragement from someone who knows what you're going to be expected to do and can actually tell that you will be capable of doing a good job.
Slash, I apparently can talk forever when I'm tired. Just look at all that up there. If it was this easy to talk about the theory of persuasion , my essay would have been finished weeks ago and my whole online class would be over.
Also - it's really nice to actually have a major. It's funny because I think people take it for granted when they have a major and actually get to take classes about something they're invested in and fascinated about. But seriously though, I am taking some of the most interesting classes of my life now that I'm not stuck in GEs or prerequisites. I have this class called Issues in Contemporary Art. And it is pretty great. We spend the whole time discussing ideas as a class and listening to our awesome and wise professor tell us cool stories and interesting theories. And one of our homework assignments is called our "Obsession Project" We get to pick anything we want that fascinates us and we have to learn more about that thing and develop our skills or passion in that area. So naturally I'm doing photography. So I went to the photography section of the library and checked out a bunch of books so I can learn more and become awesome.
Also here's a snippet of a conversation today that I thought was funny: (talking to a friend in class and mentioning a recent date I had with a mutual friend of ours) "I totally called that. I wondered if something might happen with you guys"
Excuse me? How could you have possibly called that? I had no idea that anything would happen (for more than one reason).
Also what else is funny is how I always seem to be giving out relationship advice. Ironic since my relationship experience amounts to 3 guys. 1 that I shot down after 3 dates, 1 fling lasting 4 weeks freshman year, and 1 boyfriend in highschool. Hardly the type of qualifications that you would think would make you eligible for giving sound advice.
If you want to see a preview of the type of advice I give I will now proceed to make a thing.
Rules ( well more like guidlines than actual rules ;) For Relationships (of any severity)
4. .... ..... ... meh .... if you can manage the first 3 then everything else is probably small potatoes
Yeah that's all I got. So Honesty - say what you mean. I swear everyone spends so much time trying to be polite or not hurt each other's feelings that when the truth finally comes out everyone is more butt hurt and brokenhearted than if you'd just said what you wanted to in the first place. If you don't want to date someone, then just say so. I was talking to my friend at a church thing tonight and he was saying how there is this girl he keeps asking out and every time at the last minute she backs out. He's a guy so he doesn't get that she's trying to hint at her disinterest. It's like, Honey, just tell him you're not interested and you'd save him a lot of time.
Communication - talk it out yo. Say what you need to say. Beating around the bush is completely unhelpful and then people just end up confused. My roommate and this guy she's had a thing with have been dancing around each other and then saying confusing things with subtext and implied meaning and then she comes home from Christmas and is super confused and can't tell if they're even gonna be able to be friends anymore. She ended up talking to him and forcing him to honestly just say what he thinks and voila! It isn't perfect but now they are on the same page. And that is actually more important in my opinion.
Respect - should be obvious but.... Anyway just respect each other. Some people need alone time, or don't like having to report their every move to someone, or whatever. People have things they need and we should respect that. Let people do what they need to do and don't get upset if they have needs that are different than yours. Some people like hugs ( pick me!) and others hate being touched. Let's just respect each others wishes and back off when needed.
These are my big things. My pet peeves of life if you will. I almost feel like these apply to everyone and any relationship. Even politics. Like seriously - if the different parties in the gov't had been more respectful and actually communicated effectively we wouldn't have had a shutdown would we? Instead we just have a bunch of pansies having temper tantrums and tattle telling on each other cause johnny stole my glue and sam pulled my pigtail and I don't like it.
So that's the end of my ramblings for today. I've just had a lot on my mind lately and I needed to say it somewhere. That's what blogs are for you know. Speaking your mind and all. If you read this whole thing I'm amazed. I hope it entertained you.